HOW TO GET THE BIRTH YOU WANT
As soon as you find out your are pregnant, visit your local GP, or hospital. Write a list of questions you want answered, (we suggest writing down the questions, so that you won't forget to ask anything you want to know). Then choose to have your baby at the hospital which mades you feel most comfortable.
No matter how busy the hospital is, (which may leave you feeling more like a number than a person), your baby is special.
You may have an idea of how you want to bring your baby into the world, but once those contractions kick in you may have trouble explaining what you want. So a birthing plan is well worth writing out, keep your birthing plan with your notes. Include on it your birthing partner, the type of labour you want (water birth), and types of pain relief you may require.
Midwives are highly experienced, so they are well worth listening to. Do follow your own instints, of what feels right for you.
The birth plan you write will give your partner, midwives and doctors something to work towards. Do consider putting some kind of pain relief on it, as the chances are you will be crying out for some kind of pain relief.
Talk to your partner when writing the birth plan, it's important you both communicate with eachother over what you would like your labour to be like, for example, after the baby is born, he may want to cut the umbilical cord. Give your labour partner permission to speak on your behalf.
WHAT HE NEEDS TO KNOW
When you're in labour, you'll need lots of help. To give you the best support, your birth partner should know what to expect.
The onset of labour is exciting and a little daunting, but choosing the right person to be with you will help keep you calm. Whether it's your partner, your mum or a close friend, they will probably be feeling nervous about your labour, too. To be supportive, there are certain things your birth partner needs to know, so here's seven points that will help him or her feel ready.
He'll see you in pain. Labour is really hard work, and your birth partner may find it difficult to see you in pain, or find it hard to know what to do. 'Usually, certain stages of labour', explains midwife and acupuncturist, Zita West. 'Most women are chatty in the early stages of labour, then passive or introspective at 5-6cm dilated. When you get to 8-10cm dilated, you may become agressive', she explains.
What to do. Encourage your partner to read about labour and birth and the different pain relief options. If you're using a TENS machines for pain relief.
You'll have mood swings: Hormones play a big part of labour - you may feel elated one minute, then tearful the next. Painkillers such as gas and air or Pethidine can also affect your mood.
What to do: Talk to your birth partner about how labour may affect you emotionally. Tell him what you'd lilke him to do if you feel tired or upset, and explain that these variations in your moods are normal, Your partner can disccuss any worries he might have at antenatal classes.
Labour may be long: The onset of labour doesn't necessarily mean that birth is imminent. For some women labour lasts a few hours, but for others, it can be a long process. 'Your partner's role is to be supportive and encouraging, The birth may be a drain on him too, so persuade him to take time out and have a rest.
What to do: Shorter births can sometimes be more intense - especially if you've been inducded - while long hauls are totally exhausting. Your partner should be prepared for either eventuality, bringing such items as drinks, snacks, a magazine or book with him.
He'll see a lot of blood: Some birth partners are unprepared for the amount of blood involved in labour, but most bleeding occurs when the placenta comes away from the wall of your uterus (womb), by which time both of you will be transfixed by your baby. If you have a Caesarean with an epidural, a screen will be put up so that neither of you can see the incision.
What to do: Try to watch a video showing a birth. Many Caesareans are not planned, so your partner should read up about what the procedure involves. Your birth partner might also benefit from talking to your midwife or obstetrician. 'If his squeamish about blood, encourage him to stay at the head of the bed'. Some fathers want to cut the umbilical cord, but your partner won't have to do this if he does'nt want to'.
Your baby may look a bit strange: Most babies are blue or grey immediately after delivery, turning pink when oxygen enters their lungs. Your baby may also be covered in vernix, a white, waxy substance that protects his skin in the uterus. 'Your baby's head may be misshapen', this is because his skull moulds to the shape of your birth canal, but the bones soon realign'.
What to do: Explain why your baby may look a bit strange at first so that he's not too surprised.
Birth checks are normal: All babies are given a check - the Apgar test - when they're born. Your baby's pulse, breathing, movement, skin colour and reflexes will be checked, and he'll be given a score out of 10. If your baby seemed distressed during delivery, he will be checked by a paediatrician to make sure that all is well.
What to do: Explain to your partner about the Apgar test. Many babies also need t have their mouths or noses cleared out with a sucking device, and this too, is nothing to worry about.
You'll deliver the placenta: Your partner may not know that the placenta has to be delivered after your baby is born - this is the third stage of labour. Unless you want to deliver the placenta naturally, you'll be given a hormone injection to encourage your uterus to expel it quickly.
What to do: The placenta is about the size of a dinner plate, which may surprise you both. Find a photo of a placenta in a magazine or book to show your partner.
Is this it?
You've waited months for this day, but how will you know when your baby's ready to be born?
How your body and your baby know when your in labour day has arrived is still abit of a mystery. Basically, the start of labour comes down to your hormones, adjusting themselves to the right levels - just as they did when you conceived. For some women, labour does'nt happen naturally, however, and they have to be induced (when labour is started artificially).
Otherwise, here are some signs that show your body is preparing for labour.
Head engages:
If this is your first baby, it's likely that his head will have settled down into your pelvis by 38 weeks in preparation for labour. Once the head is engaged, your bump will feel as if it's lower slung, and you'll notice the weight of the head. You may need to pass urine more frequently, as your baby will be pressing on your bladder, but you will also have less pressure on your diaphragm, making breathing easier. Plus, those sharp kicks from your baby under your ribs should also stop now!
Practice Contractions:
Known as 'Braxton Hicks' these are a good rehearsal for labour - but you can tell they're not the real thing, because they don't increase in frequency. You will feel a tightening around your abdomen, which will be quite intense for a minute or so and then go away.
What to do:
Squat, or get down on all fours. This can relieve you of some of the baby's weight.
Go for a gentle walk, or relax in a warm (but not hot) bath to help relieve the pain.
If the contractions are really uncomfortabgle, taking two paracetamol may help.
Weight Loss:
Many antenatal clinics no longer weigh pregnant women, but if you've been checking your weight, you may notice a loss of 1 - 1.5kg (2-3lbs) in the last few days before birth. This is caused by reduced blood volume as the placenta winds down, and by less fluid retention.
Nesting:
Women approaching their due date often talk about needing to be at home, wanting their partner to be around, stocking up the cupboards, washing the floors and cleaning the windows, this is all part of the nesting instinct. All these activities might encourage labour, so try and make the most of these urges!
Diarrhoea:
This can occur in the running to labour, and may be accompanied by a stomach upset. Generally, labour will be triggered by your bowels emptying, which stimulates your uterus (womb) to contract.
What to do:
Drink plenty of fluids.
Avoid bowel-stimulating food, such as fruit and fibre.
See your GP is you are at all worried.
The Show:
This is the bloodstained plug of mucus, which appears as your cervix (neck of your uterus) begins to pull itself up in preparation for labour. Until then, this plug of mucus seals off and protects your uterus. A show can happen weeks before you go into labour. So take it as an encouraging sign that your body is preparing for labour. But don't rush off to hospital just yet - Try and carry on as normal.
Waters breaking:
A quarter of labours start when the amniotic sac surrounding your baby breaks - known as 'rupture of the membranes' - and the amniotic fluid contained within escapes.
Once your baby's head has engaged, the fluid will be separated, with the 'forewaters' underneath him and the 'hindwaters' above. If there's only a gentle trickle, it's probably just the forewaters coming out, but if there's a strong gush, it's the hidwaters too, and full labour is very likely to follow within 12 hours.
What to do:
Telephone your midwife or hospital. They will probably ask you to come in immediately, as both you and your baby will need to be checked over.
Yes, this is it!
Once contractions start, you know you're in labour. Generally, they begin slowly and feel a bit like period pain, sometimes with backache. They will increase in frequency and intensity, rising like a wave to reach a crescendo and then subsiding and disappearing, giving you a short break before the next one.
What to do:
Keep a record of your contractions, noting how long they last and how long the gap is between each one. If you're having your baby in hospital, contact the delivery suite - they will probably advise you to stay where you are as long as you feel comfortable. Once contractions are three to five minutes apart, go to the hospital. going into soon can slow labour down, as the surrounding may make you feel uncomfortable, but don't leave it to late as your contractions can rapidly speed up.
